Phrases I keep trying to work into conversations right now

[samvara]

Water based lube solves everything.
It's still pedophilia when they're dead.
I'd hit that like the fist of an angry god.
Bite me. I'll describe exactly where later.

Also, fortunes make so much more sense when you add 'in bed' to the end.

Comments

[researchgrrrl.livejournal.com]

Awesome phrases. I'm particularly honored to see that fourth one included with your other vivid word choices. *g*

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

It's also (and it should NOT be this way and maybe says something about my friends) the hardest one to use casually which is breaking my heart.

I love your Dean to bitses.

[ascetic-hedony.livejournal.com]

Because we'd take you up on it?

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

I value my skin?

Bite Me

[shrydar.livejournal.com]

lol!

Re: Bite Me

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

[pouncehug]

Thanks for the company the other day.

Re: Bite Me

[shrydar.livejournal.com]

*revels in the pouncing*

You're more than welcome :)

[ironed_orchid]

You will have much sucess in your ventures.... IN BED!

Adding 'in my pants' also makes most sentences better.

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

Oh my.

'In my pants' is going to make it in very, very soon. Poor housemates.

[prk.livejournal.com]

"It's still pedophilia when they're dead in my pants." ...

"It's still pedophilia when they're dead in my bed." ...

Hmmm.

prk.

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

Want a free live mouse?

[mr-booboo.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, really nice segue.

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

Are you *sure* you don't want one either?

[prk.livejournal.com]

Is the mouse in your pants or in your bed?

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

In a fast food container in the dining room :p

[ironed_orchid]

We've been doing 'ya mum' a lot too. (Cos ya mum is so easy.) Is aussie version of your mom. I blame XKCD.

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

I love xkcd

[ironed_orchid]

I'm thinking of marrying him.

[prk.livejournal.com]

Shouldn't that second be:

"It's not paedophilia when they're dead - it's necrophilia"

Or is that still under discussion?

prk.

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

prk it's STILL PEDOPHILIA WHEN THEY'RE DEAD.

Ditto it's still bestiality if it's dead despite what your skanky workmates think.

[prk.livejournal.com]

it's STILL PEDOPHILIA WHEN THEY'RE DEAD.

Citation?

The Wikipedia article for paedophilia mentions nothing about including / excluding the dead, and the article for necrophilia mentions nothing about the age.

Either way it's sick, but one should know the correct term for specific circumstances!

Ditto it's still bestiality if it's dead

So you're asserting that padeophilia becomes necrophiliac paedophilia and bestiality becomes necrophiliac bestiality when the ... object of said attention ... is deceased?

If I throw in a bit of masochism, then you could always accuse me of flogging a dead horse...

*runs like hell*

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

Just you wait till TV Friday.....

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

...and you SO did not just try word trappery on me, you're going down, bitch.

[prk.livejournal.com]

I wasn't aware our relationship had reached that stage.

But if you insist, I'll just have to grin and bare it...

[evilmattikinz.livejournal.com]

Nicely done (-;

[prk.livejournal.com]

Danke!

On Saturday I'll post pictures of the bruises :P

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

Hell no, it will be more less gratifying for you if I *don't* hit oyu.

[prk.livejournal.com]

it will be more less gratifying for you

Now who's doing word trappery?

!!!

[evilmattikinz.livejournal.com]

I think you had better make special advance arrangements with the medical services... !

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

[spank]

[evilmattikinz.livejournal.com]

I feel so much safer being a *long* way away! (-;

[scotsnow.livejournal.com]

I have actually used #1 and the variation: "Water based lube makes everything better. caitlen can attest to this.

And I've used a variation of #4 on you! It was when you helped me move house a few years back. You and bizarrehands were tag-team teasing me and I said, "Ahhh, bite me. We can discuss where later."

:)

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

We never did discuss where...

[scotsnow.livejournal.com]

No we never did. I was concerned it might involve Kenobi. No, wait, that didn't come out right ...

I so want to use #3. I want to use #3 in the way a priest wants to use a--uhm, no, never mind.

:)

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

My dog is WAY too young for you to be thinking those thoughts.

I have been, ascetic_hedony is a little over it now.

[ascetic-hedony.livejournal.com]

Not really, I just prefer to combine and rephrase the first two sayings.
"Water-based lube, salvation from the fisting of an angry god"

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

You'd want it to be the god of tiny, delicate things and not, for example, Thor.

[ascetic-hedony.livejournal.com]

Would it matter if there was enough lube? Isn't that the point.

[prk.livejournal.com]

Which leads to the question - Can god create an orifice so tight that even s/he cannot fist it?

[ascetic-hedony.livejournal.com]

If god is omnipresent s/he is already in said orifice. As for fisting, that would depend on how s/he chose to maifest said presence.