The Three Musketeers (2011)

[samvara]

The trailer kind of warned me I was going to be barracking for Buckingham - he had more substance than anyone else - and nothing happened to change that.

On the plus side: Fun intro sequence! Airships! Buckingham doing evil mustache twirling and oneupmanship through brocade, that thing wot is a spoiler which I shall mention beneath a cut. Deeply slashy dialogue where Buckingham says things like "I think the last time I saw you, you were on your knees."

On the not so plus side: Genuinely terrible script with bad dialogue appropriated from other movies - and not even good movies. Poor D'Artagnan was completely unlikable and I'm a little confused about the acting/directing choices for Milla Jovovich - were they trying to fill the not-enough-dialogue gaps? It was like she kept moving into position, pausing, then delivering another line, like this. Period inappropriate slang. Misogyny. Perpetuation of rape culture.

Deeply pleasing: Milady survives to triumph again - wow, a movie with three female characters - a wife, a girlfriend and a femme fatale and the femme fatale survives.

Comments

[fred_mouse]

So, have they cast Milla Jovovich as one of the musketeers, or is the trailer I've seen just really badly put together? Said trailer was on loop with a number of others and even seeing it a second time didn't change my perception, but did at least convince me that I hadn't missed anything obvious in it.

[samvara]

Nopes, she's Milady de Winter and in cahoots with the boys except for how she's evil (and awesome).