Leadership Effectiveness #3

[samvara]

No readings this week, but Journal #2 due this week was three pages and took me a fair amount of soul wrestling so I was glad to not have to take in new stuff.

Journal #1 was 69% which was partly due to a couple of embarrassing things like not referencing properly and forgetting to finish a sentence (sheesh) but S. said class range was 55-72 and I felt OK about that.

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator day!

Not what I expected, we talked about the MBTI back in Organisational Behaviour and I've done it before a couple of times. We went through the different types - if you're interested, the website is well written and goes through it all.

We were offered the chance to bring in our Significant Other and do the MBTI with them and while maharetr and chaosmanor were both willing I felt uncomfortable. Now that I've had a chance to see how it played out I'm OK with that choice; watching a bunch of (very nice) straight couples introduce each other and seeing a recently engaged couple get a round of applause was a bit 'othering' for me and bringing my two same-sex SSOs would have left me feeling too much like a freak show.

As we talked through the four preferences (S. used handedness as an example of a preference, you come with it, to varying degrees you can also train it but most of us do prefer one over the other) we also scored ourselves on what we thought we were and scored a partner in the class.

Then we took 20 mins to tell our partner why we chose to score them the way we did (in our case, based on 2 shared classes) which was fascinating and a great opportunity to practice giving and receiving feedback. A. and I ended up comparing our various experiences and interpretations and reluctantly crawled back to share our findings with the group. We got 2/4 right!

We did the official Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and compared our varied scores.

• Self assessed - ENTJ: Frank, decisive, assume leadership readily. Quickly see illogical and inefficient procedures and policies, develop and implement comprehensive systems to solve organizational problems. Enjoy long-term planning and goal setting. Usually well informed, well read, enjoy expanding their knowledge and passing it on to others. Forceful in presenting their ideas

I scored this relentlessly for about 5 years, my most consistent feedback is that I'm loud and impatient and I do actually (I know, you have trouble believing this) try to be mindful of this and temper it.

• ESTJ: Practical, realistic, matter-of-fact. Decisive, quickly move to implement decisions. Organize projects and people to get things done, focus on getting results in the most efficient way possible. Take care of routine details. Have a clear set of logical standards, systematically follow them and want others to also. Forceful in implementing their plans.

The N-S jump was not entirely unexpected, it shows up as a mild preference and I tend to believe reflects a lot of very hard work around remembering that people are people more often. *grins*

Then. Then! Extraverts on one side of the room, Intraverts on the other.

We had to write up some questions for the other team to answer - this was very moderated and all about exploring the different communication styles. It sounded a lot like the first in a series of conversations maharetr and I had back in the early days where we compared what we needed and how we processed until we had a communication system that worked for both of us. S. said our conversational bookmarking system¹ was high level, quality communication which was nice to hear and made maharetr do the smug face when I got home and told her about it.

*coughs* I also scored maharetr in my head as an INTJ and she later redid my MBTI scoring sheet and came up as INFJ which we will have fun going through more in the future. Now to tag chaosmanor.

¹What happens ismaharetr sticks out her hand and says 'bookmark!' I acknowledge the bookmark but am allowed to finish my ramble because it's kind of painful for me to be cut off mid flow. I stop, create space for maharetr to respond and ask her about her thoughts (it's important to invite introverts). We tend to 'loop' a little because we circle around and revisit previous parts of the conversation (which I kind of like - we tangent a lot). It's a fairer conversation, we both get to communicate in our preferred style and be heard.

Comments

[maharetr]

I'm pretty sure I also scored as INTJ for aggeesss, and am starting to drift into F since (because) I met you, and the impact you've had on how I view the world. (I feel like I'm far more: "Are you okay? Can I help?" since I met you, for the record). I'm more aware of my attraction to soft, gentle, compassionate things, too rather than "We Will Do It This Way!" Expressing my own feelings... heh, still working on that. :P

[samvara]

Now I want to know, do you think that is a change to expressing more of your existing nature, or a change in what you see as your nature itself?

1. INTJ: Have original minds and great drive for implementing their ideas and achieving their goals. Quickly see patterns in external events and develop long-range explanatory perspectives. When committed, organize a job and carry it through. Skeptical and independent, have high standards of competence and performance – for themselves and others.

I love that we're seeing an intersection of who we think we are, who we want to be, how we identify and to a certain extent, how other people perceive us.

1. INFJ: Seek meaning and connection in ideas, relationships, and material possessions. Want to understand what motivates people and are insightful about others. Conscientious and committed to their firm values. Develop a clear vision about how best to serve the common good. Organized and decisive in implementing their vision.

[samvara]

Expressing my own feelings... heh, still working on that. :P

See now I have a vision of us getting you a stuffed rabbit and you wandering around saying

Flopsy wants you to know she feels sad today and needs love.

[samvara]

and on that note... I got you a pony!



You don't have to carry her anywhere but this could be a fantastic opportunity to work on your ventriloquism!
I also got a blowtorch but we can talk more about that later.

[maharetr]

OMG! You got me a PONY! I love you THIS BIG! (I totally just managed a spittake without anything in my mouth. I'm impressed, self. And kicky feet of GLEE)

Is this where we find out how flame-proof the ramekin dishes are and I learn how to make creme brulees? *hopeful*

*glee*

[samvara]

I LIE, I got you a UNICORN (had to wait for the glue to dry)


*looks shifty*

[transcendancing]

*love* for the othering - I can understand how you'd have felt that way.

Sounds like an interesting class all around.

I love the bookmarking aspect of things - can I use something like it too? Occasionally I feel awkward about talking about something that was part of the conversation 2-5-10 mins ago, but I try hard not to interrupt you :)

*loves*

[samvara]

othering - it wasn't a big deal and I am aware it comes from how I view my interactions with the world - it's just this thing, that is real, for a value of real, that I try to engage with.

You are very welcome to bookmark in conversations :)

[transcendancing]

*loves*

Thank you!!

I know it generally isn't a big deal, but it exists in that simultaneous space of is and isn't.

[samvara]

This should be interesting! I look forward to seeing how it plays out.

Yeah, it's hella real when I'm angsting.

[transcendancing]

I expect it will continue to be interesting in the you noticing it and it not really being a *big* deal for you personally, but at the same time... it's an ordinary that you don't get to express without worrying about it... which is like an emotional mozzie bite I guess.

[samvara]

I am more and more aware that a small part of me moves through the world waiting to be punished... this is a new idea I am just sort of poking and watching unfold.

[transcendancing]

Hmm, that is quite an interesting thing to notice! I am available to love or comfort or help poke - or really, whatever you need and would be useful. *loves*

[samvara]

*snuggles* Thank you!

I have no idea what I am going to *do* with this, I am just observing it right now.