Dear Diary, triggers and distress and being OK

[samvara]

One of my workmates accidentally triggered me today. She frightened me from behind while I was sitting, to fix my hiccups. I don't remember much of our exchange, I was overwhelmed with fear and emotion. I do remember saying 'Never do that again' and 'I'm not angry with you, I'm just upset' but mostly I sort of shivered and cried.

We talked after, she was in tears when she realised how strongly it had affected me, and I tried to make sure she knew I understood she had meant no harm. I think overall it was a positive experience. We communicated, she apologised a lot and swore she'd never do that to another person ever and I'm gradually coming down and feeling less fraught. I'm pretty sure the people nearby also quietly swore never to jump a co-worker :p

I value that in a situation like this I feel absolutely OK to say 'Never do that again.' I also value feeling like I'll be heard and my preferences respected. I felt like I could be distressed and even while distressed I felt OK about that too - if that makes any sense.

I am going to call that progress :)

It does leave me thinking about this thing that I think of as 'OK-ness' and how much of my experience is mediated through that. When I'm OK, I can deal with anything, even really distressing things and even my own distress.

Comments

[maharetr]

Meep! *comfort and love*

[samvara]

Hee, this was actually a celebratory post. My tone is obviously completely off.

[autumnus]

ack *hugs*

it is nice that they understood and learned something through. Seems like you have a nice set people in your office.

[samvara]

Thank you !

Having come from a background of absolute knowledge that people will not respect my personal space or hear me when I say 'No' this was actually a fabulous experience. I feel like I've learned enough to assert boundaries and... Amazingly... They are respected when I do, I am very keen on my office environment :)

[watersword]

♥ ♥ ♥ I wish you a quiet night with much tea and successful coding and comforting reading and fuzzy blankets and a woofer who looks at your like you are the best person in the world. Which you totally are.

[samvara]

*snuggles*

I had a lovely night and thank you very much for the love :)

[transcendancing]

*lovelovelove* So sorry this happened! But really pleased that you felt able to handle it and that it had an overall positive effect of others becoming aware that small things like that to them can have a much bigger effect.

I love you so much, I hope you're okay and that the sun is smiling as beautifully in Perth as it is in rural Vic today. Will send pic soon :)

[samvara]

Tbh I am viewing it in a very positive light, I feel that I've come to a very good place in that I now believe that I'm allowed to tell people not to and when I do it they validate me. It's awesome!

[transcendancing]

Awesome indeed! *lovelovelove*