Trigger warnings (rape and rape culture) but also, fantastic news.

[samvara]

A while back I read Schrödinger’s Rapist and recently Feministe and Fugitivus have discussed David Lisak’s work on the modus operandi of man-attacks-woman acquaintance rapists.

Quick Summary of characteristics of persons taking advantage of rape culture:

1. are extremely adept at identifying “likely” victims, and testing prospective victims’ boundaries;
2. plan and premeditate their attacks, using sophisticated strategies to groom their victims for attack, and to isolate them physically;
3. use “instrumental” not gratuitous violence; they exhibit strong impulse control and use only as much violence as is needed to terrify and coerce their victims into submission;
4. use psychological weapons – power, control, manipulation, and threats – backed up by physical force, and almost never resort to weapons such as knives or guns;
5. use alcohol deliberately to render victims more vulnerable to attack, or completely unconscious.

I find this hard to engage with, I get angry and overwhelmed. I frequently lose my ability to respond with equanimity and have to retreat to build up emotional resources. After a couple of hours of pondering I was pleasantly surprised to find myself in a good space and it occurs to me that there are excellent opportunities here for positive action.

If rape culture supports this kind of despicable, crap behaviour and relies on you being part of that culture, then you can inoculate your friends. You can indicate clearly that you don't support this culture, thus alerting potential rapists that the picking will be slim, and alerting your friends that they will be heard should a situation arise. You can inoculate all the women you know - start now!

Dear Friends and Potential Friends (this means you),

I care about you, and support your right to control what happens to your body. I will support you in any situation you might find yourself in, and I will listen to you and value your voice.

Love, Me

You may also remember the open source back each other up project.

Comments

[onceamy]

*high fives*

Some of the paragraphs in the first article made me uneasy (judging a person before they even open their mouths is antithetical to what I believe in), but the way that you identify the rapists and predators who use rape culture is very succinct and very helpful.

[samvara]

Yeah, I tend to assume goodwill on first contact but I downgrade men based on their subsequent behaviour.

[mynxii.livejournal.com]

Well said!