The Fourth Estate: What does it mean to be an adult in today's society?

[samvara]

Kate Crawford and Rebecca Huntley gave an interesting and amusing talk about how attitudes have changed over the last 40 years. maharetr and I split the book buying, I’ve a shiny copy of The World According to Y and the urge to borrow Adult Themes: Rewriting the Rules of Adulthood.

The notion that adulthood involves getting married, having children and buying a home is an interesting one. I shall add leaving home and getting a job – especially in the light of failure to launch syndrome.

If adulthood is based on such milestones then a vast amount of the population – especially those in a younger demographic, who perhaps don’t wish to have children, are uninterested in marriage (or not able to legally marry) and not in a position to buy into an increasingly expensive property market – will never reach adulthood.

I am briefly reminded of voting rights being assigned on the basis of being a citizen of good standing (male, white, educated, property owning). This concerns me, as it’s much harder to interact successfully with authorities if you are regarded as lazy, apathetic and immature.

I would like to define adulthood in terms of certain types of behaviors, such as ethical decision-making, compassionate behaviour and responsibility for decisions made. This could make a 30 year old living at home rate as more adult than certain CEOs.

It also concerns me from a visualizing our culture perspective as I don’t identify with these milestones and can’t quite see them as rewarding or desirable goals. I’m aware that for a lot of people they are, but you have to sacrifice a lot for them and to many people it’s not an equitable trade.

Comments

[missyjack.livejournal.com]

I haven't read the books you mention, although I have read some articles on them and the themes they mentioned. I like your definition of adulthood better. as milestones such as marriage or home ownership are very much patriarchal/capitalist notions.

Also - adulthood in those terms is overrated in my view! I think the world would be a lot better is we were all more childish more often. Playfulness is a very creative and life-affirming trait that should be cherished.

Of course this could be because at 43 I am single, childess and don't own my own home. On the weekend I had a friend over we played video games! And of course how childish is fandom?

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

We make jokes about how you stop having sex after marriage - is it any surprise we try to have as much fun as possible before we have to grow up?

It's not just sex of course, it looks like adulthood isn't fun - which makes it pretty darn unnattractive and that's just plain wrong. No wonder a lot of younger people don't want to embrace the prevalent definition of 'adulthood'

It's an interesting dichotomy isn't it?

[mynxii.livejournal.com]

There are so many things that associated with this that I'm thinking about - I think you've also said it really well :)

I'm working on my post :)

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

Yeah it ties in to a lot of what I'm feeling and thinking right now. So much to say!

[mynxii.livejournal.com]

I understand!

[fred-mouse.livejournal.com]

hmm, as a thirty-something property owner with kids, I woke up one morning a few years ago and wondered when I was going to start feeling like an adult. At that point, I'd been living as one for half my life - since before being a legal adult - in that I was living on an income that came to me, not parents, paying for my accomodation and food, taking responsibility for my own actions, things like that.

So I don't think that our cultures definition of adulthood works for those who fit it either. I'm starting to see my mother in the mirror, people I went to school/uni with are starting to take very important roles in the community, and I'm still finding it difficult to see myself as a grown adult - I've still got so far to go before I reach a point that I'll be happy with my level of maturity.

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

[grins]

I think any definition that requires nouns [House, Child, Marriage certificate] is going to fail. After all, happiness is a verb.

Right now I want to think about adulthood as being something you do rather than something you are.

[ironed_orchid]

I would like to define adulthood in terms of certain types of behaviors, such as ethical decision-making, compassionate behaviour and responsibility for decisions made.

I like this idea very much.

Especially when I consider the people I've met who say they didn't really start to question what they wanted from life until after the whole marriage, kids, and house thing hadn't worked out for them. It's possible to go through those motions without really taking responsibility, because it's "what you do".