Things I have learned living with the Undead.

• They are not cuddling; they are leaching body heat.
• They aren’t Zombies, they’re Zwombies, or perhaps Zwampires. These are like Vampiric, Undead Wombles.
• They are not cuddling; they are using you as a windbreak.
• It’s not lipstick; their lips really are that colour.
• They are not cuddling; they just haven’t fed recently.
  
• The Undead fear raisin toast.
• I am so going to survive the Zombie Apocalypse.