Every time you masturbate a kitten dies?

People are clearly not trying hard enough as we have plenty of feral cats.

Also: Who needs cats if people are willing to focus their attention on the root of the problem which is mice. Come ON folks, focus your powers. Mice are smaller, likely to be in closer physical range and must be more vulnerable - maybe you can get several in one go!

ED: Further to these thoughts: obviously a Dark Force capable of destroying kittens and possibly ducklings that is as yet undetected AND uncontrollable should be investigated. ascetic_hedony and I would like to call for suggestions on devices to capture and channel this energy. I suspect we need to develop some sort of dreamcatcher with exotic designs woven into it and possibly appropriate gemstones with a effigy/image/target at the centre. Alternatively symbols woven into underwear. I can't help recalling at this point that we have with us persons who a) have kittens and b) have [cough] stories to tell about cats.

Looks meaningfully at certain people who should know who they are.

The Battle of the Birthdays

Me and my siblings versus our father is gently escalating. Now that he is in Brisbane; and can't just peer at us when we remind him and ask us how old we are; he is reduced to stuffing up our birthday cards.

At least I choose to assume it's deliberate.

This year mine read 'Merry Christmas' and on the baby brother's card his name was misspelled.

I just posted a card that says 'Congratulations it's a GIRL!'

One of the women at work knows a family that recycle the cards; you put in a new note and keep them circulating. I'm attracted to this idea - in a way you are recycling the love.

Bloody Librans…