Every time you masturbate a kitten dies?

[samvara]

People are clearly not trying hard enough as we have plenty of feral cats.

Also: Who needs cats if people are willing to focus their attention on the root of the problem which is mice. Come ON folks, focus your powers. Mice are smaller, likely to be in closer physical range and must be more vulnerable - maybe you can get several in one go!

ED: Further to these thoughts: obviously a Dark Force capable of destroying kittens and possibly ducklings that is as yet undetected AND uncontrollable should be investigated. ascetic_hedony and I would like to call for suggestions on devices to capture and channel this energy. I suspect we need to develop some sort of dreamcatcher with exotic designs woven into it and possibly appropriate gemstones with a effigy/image/target at the centre. Alternatively symbols woven into underwear. I can't help recalling at this point that we have with us persons who a) have kittens and b) have [cough] stories to tell about cats.

Looks meaningfully at certain people who should know who they are.

Comments

[ascetic-hedony.livejournal.com]

I would like to offer the concept of masturbation as a tool of assassination.

Could we pay/bribe someone enough to masturbate while thinking of despised political figures. Would it only require one orgasm to take out a person or would we need several people coordinating a multiple point attack?

Perhaps one must focus on the concept of death - I imagine that simply masturbating while picturing someone wouldn't do it, otherwise the life span of porn stars would be significantly shorter.

Just a couple more thoughts I probably should have kept to myself.

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

I'm not so sure it would have to be orgasmic masturbating, I assume the process is that you're building up a sort of moral charge of Evil which is then discharged at a helpless and innocent victim.

In which case, ducklings are probably also at risk.

If kitten_death is a side effect of masturbating then there must be some way of re-targeting it.

[ascetic-hedony.livejournal.com]

I assume the process is that you're building up a sort of moral charge of Evil which is then discharged at a helpless and innocent victim.

Which means that we may not be able to use it to off political figures, since it would probably be of the good. Also explains the invulnerability of porn stars.

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

We need conscious control of this ability.

[cricketk.livejournal.com]

I don't think I can masturbate and think of John Howard at teh same time.

Just saying.

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

I'm kinda assuming that currently you don't think about kittens either.

[ascetic-hedony.livejournal.com]

Cut a deal with someone who has stranger kinks that you.

I'm willing to attempt the death of Howard if you could take Bush or my ex-boss.

Or maybe we just have to write the name of what we want to influence on our hands or toys?

[ironed_orchid]

So you want us to masturbate more in order to get rid of your mice? Hey, why not.

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

It depends... can you target the mice specifically?

I don't want to get up tomorrow and have ascetic_hedony tell me he has strange numb patches.

[ironed_orchid]

It's tricky.

Also, do you still have a dog that needs walking? Last week was a bit of a write off.

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

Possibly assassination through masturbation is so uncommon because of the concentration challenge it poses.

I am walking semi-OK now and throwing balls while standing on the good leg. This is a very ugly week for me getting home while the sun is up though.

[ironed_orchid]

OK. If you have a leash I could collect the woofer when I go to take back dvds (to video ezy on wray ave), not as exciting as throwing balls, but is exercise and getting out of the house.

Also I have Angel dvds to return to your place. But can do that on the way to work at the golf course.

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

You might want to talk to AH as he is home a lot right now - he could provide leashes and so on... many many thanks for offering to do this BTW.

[ironed_orchid]

Will do, and you're welcome.

[special-trille.livejournal.com]

I don't want to get up tomorrow and have [info]ascetic_hedony tell me he has strange numb patches.

Considering the thread, I don't think it's entirely my fault that I interpreted that the way I did on first reading.

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

You thought about his allergies in a sympathetic manner?

[ascetic-hedony.livejournal.com]

*thwaps*
Speaking of kittens and masturbation...

hat are your thoughts on the subject, given your previously expessed experience with the above topics?

[ascetic-hedony.livejournal.com]

I still like the idea of a cock ring engraved with avada kedavra

Possibly a modified veve underneath the bed...

Although we have discussed the importance of distance between the act and the energy catching/redirecting device. Could one make a device big enough to harness the dark sexual energies of the whole city? Or do we need a device in each room that may be used for masturbating.

Assuming that Perth is actually capable of producing truly 'dark' sexual energy.

[orange-velcro.livejournal.com]

the lovely Jupitah sent me this way....I've still got water up my nose from this post and comments...I hope you don't mind that I added you.

[black-samvara.livejournal.com]

Delighted I'm sure!

[insert standard disclaimer about lack of responsibility for all injuries gained through snorting hot/cold beverages]