samvara: Photo of Modesty Blaise with text "All this and brains as well" (Default)
2017-06-24 11:24 am

Stalking, social networks and scripts

*taps mic* is this thing still on?

Two things
  1. I'm gonna need to vent for a few days (weeks?) until I stop having all these feelings
  2. This was SO MUCH LESS HORRIBLE because I had support and advice and information so I am paying it forward.
In brief: I went to a tech conference, I got a call in my hotel room on my hotel phone at 11pm from a man with an American accent who said he’d been watching me, it looked like I was having fun in my hotel room, and how about he join me in my hotel room. I declined and hung up. My chat group validated my initial horrified reaction and supported me through calling hotel security, getting my room changed, and his eventual discovery and expulsion from the hotel.

On stalking: It is never OK to do this kind of thing, it is not funny, it is not sexy. It made me feel unsafe. It meant the next day, until he was gone, that I second-guessed every interaction at that conference (of which men were probably 90% of the attendees) and wasted a lot of energy managing anxiety when I could have been benefiting from that very expensive conference ticket. I’m probably going to be having feelings about this for a long time.

On social networks: I was too busy being half awake and alarmed to have an effective response when this happened. It took time to process, it was my social network who prompted me through calling security and requesting the room change, I asked for my conference ID badge to be redacted on my own, but it took a few hours before I was thinking strategically and not just feeling overwhelmed. They validated my feelings, made me feel like it was OK to ask for what I needed, and meant I never felt alone.


Treasure the good people you meet in your life, nurture those relationships and share your strength when you can.

On scripts: Being prepared, having a response, knowing what I could say or do or expect can make a huge difference to my emotional well being, and to how I choose to act. It enables me to act rather than freeze up in difficult situations, it means I can protect myself, and it means I can stand up for myself and others.

My proposed future Script
  1. Complain to hotel security, that’s what they are for
  2. Request a room change, a different room when someone creepy knows where you are is A Good Thing.
  3. Complain to the police - I am sad I did not do this, awful!person could have been going home with a police record that might contribute to a future someone’s safety.
This is gonna work better from some humans than others, I’m going to wield being a white woman-ish person as hard as I can given it’s what I have to work with.

On positive action: One of my coping strategies is to try and find a positive action I can do, it helps me channel fear and anger into something that generates better feelings, and makes me feel less helpless when faced with something awful. My positive actions for this event are:
  • To share this with you; may this be in some way useful or empowering for you
  • To inoculate my workplace (via complaining about this a lot) in order to a) share my script with female coworkers and b) let my male coworkers know this is not OK and has consequences.
  • To reflect on how lucky I am to have such excellent support networks, that there were responsive hotel staff, and supportive conference staff
Chat transcript )

Gah. The End.
samvara: Photo of Modesty Blaise with text "All this and brains as well" (Default)
2014-08-22 02:07 pm
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[personal profile] zorana provided her invaluable self to a couple of marathons and I have now caught up on some of my shows.
  • Arrow - attempting to catch up and made some great progress while auditing my music collection (now in two folders called "sorted" and "pit of voles"). Ollie is still ridiculous but Felicity and Diggle are so much fun
  • In the Flesh - liked episode 1, not fluffy watching, will have to ration carefully
  • Grimm S03 - up to date and still in love, have forgiven sudden attack of the stupid to set up the S03 cliffhanger on account of Munroe and Rosalie awesome and potential to explore Nick and Juliette being able to choose the Grimm lifestyle voluntarily. Babygrimm FTW!
  • Orphan Black - up to date and deeply invested, so many issues, so many questions, so much plot. Maslany was robbed at the Emmy’s
  • Teen Wolf - did not have to marathon as cupidsbow and I have a standing weekly TW watching date which also gives me a front row seat on the fabulous meta being produced
  • Guardians of the Galaxy - surprisingly good
  • X-Men: Days of Future Past - eh
  • Top Hat (Ginger Rogers & Fred Astaire) - adorable and fluffy
  • Casablanca - rewatching for the upteenth time
samvara: Feline person in drab armor wielding a sword and shield (ESO)
2014-08-20 01:21 pm
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New Hobby – playing Elder Scrolls Online

Born out of many happy hours playing Skyrim before ESO launched in April. Initial exposure was[personal profile] zorana's fault, closely followed by [personal profile] maharetr  who also got into Skyrim and brother J. who pointed out ESO was about to go live and enthused at me over the Beta.

BEST THING: The thing that blows me away the most is that I have now become accustomed to constantly seeing female non player characters of every race performing all the roles. It took me over 200 hours of gameplay to start taking the abundance of female characters for granted. That’s over 200 hours that I spent feeling surprised and delighted every time I met a new female NPC. Now I just get the odd burst when I encounter another married same-sex couple engaged in gay activities like fighting pirates, memorialising their long, happy life together, or dealing with the health issues associated with being a secret werewolf.

NEXT BEST THING: gaming group with [personal profile] maharetr, [personal profile] ascetic_hedony and A. after we all realised we were more invested in roleplaying Khajiit then we were in optimising for racial bonuses. We meet once or twice a week and Do All The Quests or run around Cyrodiil (the player killing map) screaming and dying together. There is no situation that cannot be improved by a fireball trebuchet.

WORST THING: No ‘reason’ field when you add a character to your ignore list. It’s not essential, but it’s an excellent indicator a complaint is accurate if an account has a lot of ignores and comments like ‘gold farmer’ ‘sexist jerk’ or ‘troll’ associated with them. Having said that, the chat tone is surprisingly good and I've seen some nuanced social policing going on.

samvara: Photo of Modesty Blaise with text "All this and brains as well" (Default)
2014-08-20 12:37 pm
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Greens Pool, William Bay WA

Birthday present for [personal profile] zorana  after we took a trip together and I scoffed at the notion of her buying a painting while we were there. I have now successfully finished a painting AND made a birthday present AND made good on my promises. Wondering if I should now dismantle my little painting nook or line up another challenge.  Many thanks to [personal profile] chaosmanor  for the lovely (and far nicer) photography.

samvara: Photo of Modesty Blaise with text "All this and brains as well" (Default)
2014-08-14 09:28 am
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Online Drawing Exercise!

Vase-Face exercise, I drew it left handed and appear to have drawn a man with a very grecian nose.

samvara: Photo of Modesty Blaise with text "All this and brains as well" (Default)
2013-10-31 10:20 pm
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Media consumption...

  • City of Bones - watchable, feels like a young woman's fantasy life all smushed together. I'm not opposed. 
  • After Earth - stopped after 15 mins. I want to support this movie but it was too boring for me to watch.
  • Arrow Season 2 - Ollie is still awful but the rest of the cast makes up for it
  • Beauty and the Beast (2012) - YOU ARE ALL FIRED, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS EXISTED? It's full of melodrama and ridiculous angst and lovely LOVELY female characters and plots that don't shame women and it has evil, lurking corporations.
  • Elementary - happens when I'm in the room, no objections and quite a lot of love for Watson.
  • Grimm Season 3 - still fun and Monroe is still awesome
  • Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D - too boring to watch, so sad. Holding out for a Peggy Carter series.
  • Orphan Black - GOLD, PURE GOLD.
  • Sleepy Hollow - on probation, but has many pleasing qualities
  • Supernatural Season 8 - so much better than seasons 6 & 7, it's like having an old friend back
samvara: Photo of Modesty Blaise with text "All this and brains as well" (Default)
2013-10-31 10:09 pm

Still in hiding...

In fabulous news G. only had aggressive diffuse large B cell lymphoma and we're now in cycle 3 of 6 of chemotherapy - did you know you're not supposed to kiss babies when you're full of chemo drugs? I've now been to the Emergency Department of three different hospitals and hung out in four - very good knitting opportunities. I feel like I should get frequent flyer points or a 'patient transfer' sticker for my car or something.

We're in the market for a good henna painter / tattooist what with the hair loss and excellent canvas space emerging. Any recommendations?
samvara: Photo of Modesty Blaise with text "All this and brains as well" (Default)
2013-10-31 11:19 am

Anyone have, or know someone with a Harvard University ID (HUID) ?

I'm chasing the history of Dell Inc. which I hear has a decent entry in the International Directory of Company Histories

Will love you forever and possibly provide a tangible form of that love.
samvara: Photo of Modesty Blaise with text "All this and brains as well" (Default)
2013-08-20 10:48 pm

I'm gonna be in hiding for a while...

In a burst of unwelcome news my close friend G. got diagnosed with aggressive diffuse large B cell lymphoma ("cureable") and possible double hit lymphoma ("poor prognosis"). We're waiting on further analysis to find out which one it is. On the plus side G. is stage 1, the specialist is kind of awesome, and it turns out you can access life insurance in these kinds of situations. We're about to embark on the Good Ship Chemotherapy - at least G. is. I plan to hang out in a supportive way, knit amusing hats and mine the internet for the last 10 years worth of adorable animal videos.

We spent most of today in hospital for an unrelated health emergency which resulted in [personal profile] maharetr collecting G.'s car from where it was left this morning, and the QFHC realising to our dismay that none of us can figure out how to put it in reverse. *hums relevant song* We managed to get it tucked away on our verge using the Elvish power of Shoving (thought to be lost before the end of the Second Age) and are experiencing a small amount of car related shame.

I am pulling back on 'stuff' in general and volunteer activities in specific since between job hunting, doing my last MBA unit and supporting G.  I'm feeling stretched.

If you have any good suggestions for knitted or crocheted hats I'd love to hear them.
samvara: Photo of Modesty Blaise with text "All this and brains as well" (Default)
2013-07-28 09:56 pm
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Pacific Rim, Wolverine, She Done Him Wrong, Seven Year Itch

  • Pacific Rim - I thought all I wanted was giant robots and dinosaurs but it turns out I also wanted it to make a little more sense. It's possible the mecha genre is always like this in which case please forgive my ignorance. Yes. One or more people who worked on Pacific Rim have either collaborated with Roman Polanski or publicly expressed support for him. Guillermo del Toro (Director)
  • Wolverine - Mmm, dead over-sexualised lesbians. I appreciated Wolverine giving up his mainpain, I liked some of the movie, I had low expectations which is always a good idea. Yes.One or more people who worked on The Wolverine have either collaborated with Roman Polanski or publicly expressed support for him. Hiroyuki Sanada (Shingen Yashida)
  • She Done Him Wrong - a total gem. Mae West is a fast talking unstoppable bombshell of wit and giant feathery outfits. No! None of the cast or crew of She Done Him Wrong have collaborated with Roman Polanski or publicly expressed support for him.
  • Seven Year Itch - tried very hard but a movie entirely about a creep is hard to take. Did not finish. Marilyn was adorable and the famous air vent scene surprisingly understated. No! None of the cast or crew of The Seven Year Itch have collaborated with Roman Polanski or publicly expressed support for him.
samvara: Photo of Modesty Blaise with text "All this and brains as well" (Default)
2013-07-20 10:52 pm
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Dear Diary

  • Ran 3km, v. exciting, am easing back in gently as hamstring injury still not entirely better
  • Kiba and Kenobi flung themselves into the swamp and subsequently radiated sudsy, soggy misery at me in the shower. I dried Kiba first and kicked him out to concentrate on Kenobi then Kiba tried to break back into the bathroom because someone was having fun without him. My puppy ladies and gentlefolk
  • Playing A Dark Room, I blame [personal profile] maharetr who is an enabler of the worst kind
samvara: Kiba the dog (Kiba)
2013-07-16 08:52 pm
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Things wot Kiba has eaten

Item Apparent Health
Many cashews and almonds Excellent
One television remote Excellent
The handle of a pair of scissors Excellent
A piece of skirting board Excellent
Untold amounts of Tupperware Excellent
Gluten Free Marshmallows Excellent
Chunk of raw ginger larger than my thumb Excellent
Half a pink thong Excellent
Lid of a travel coffee mug Excellent
Many raw potatoes Excellent
A parsnip Excellent
Another couch cushion Excellent
One stuffed qokka Excellent
Three socks Excellent
One sneaker shoelace Excellent
One rose bush Excellent
Two packets of rice paper Excellent
Three tissue boxes Excellent
Cable for warming dog bed Excellent
Many tennis balls Excellent
Cable for iDevice recharger Excellent
Garden Fertiliser Excellent
Couch cushion Excellent
Russian Caraven loose leaf tea Excellent
Several nectarines Excellent
A bag of green string beans Excellent
samvara: Photo of Modesty Blaise with text "All this and brains as well" (Default)
2013-07-09 09:17 am
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Charade (1963)

I've been missing out. Stars and

Romance and suspense in Paris, as a woman is pursued by several men who want a fortune her murdered husband had stolen. Who can she trust?

Charming, twisty and funny PLUS in the public domain so I am not contributing $ to the below.

Alas. Yes.One or more people who worked on Charade have either collaborated with Roman Polanski or publicly expressed support for him. Walter Matthau (Hamilton Bartholemew)
samvara: Photo of Modesty Blaise with text "All this and brains as well" (Default)
2013-07-08 03:26 pm
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Dear Diary

  • Sneezing, coughing and the usual symptoms = woe!
  • Cast 'summon brownies' at [personal profile] maharetr. That helped <3
  • hitRECord #3 arrived in the mail - still fabulous - the NPH and JGL bit was amusing
  • Kiba has eaten half of one thong, about 3 socks, and licked my foot lovingly. I clearly taste EXCELLENT
samvara: Photo of Modesty Blaise with text "All this and brains as well" (Default)
2013-07-01 07:44 am
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Dear Diary

  • GP says 8-12 weeks for hamstring to heal (this is week 7) and advised v. gently stretching in all planes of rotation.
  • Melbourne trip involved good food, good company, a trip to CERES, cuddles, the Monet's Garden The Musée Marmottan Monet, Paris exhibition (some v. nice security staff) and more cuddles. Was most excellent to see [personal profile] littleboot, [personal profile] transcendancing[personal profile] japester[personal profile] skud and others and talk shop where 'shop' covered knitting, sourdough, database design, gardening, travel, careers, personal evolution, gender fluidity, social justice and much, much more.
samvara: Photo of Modesty Blaise with text "All this and brains as well" (Default)
2013-06-24 08:08 pm
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2013 Hugo Reading - Best Graphic Story

  • Grandville Bête Noire, written and illustrated by Bryan Talbot (Dark Horse Comics, Jonathan Cape) Score: 3/5
  • A 'scientific romance thriller' set in a world where the British call each other 'old chap' a lot and are anthropomorphic. Archibald LeBrock the badger Detective solves crime and falls upon a political conspiracy.

    Has a coherent story which I appreciate and the illustrations are very 'period' and steampunky.
    Loses points for predictability and the two sole female characters who play the uninspiring roles of jealous sleazy adulteress and jealous plucky prostitute.

  • Locke & Key Volume 5: Clockworks, written by Joe Hill, illustrated by Gabriel Rodriguez (IDW) Score: 2/5
  • Not a good series to come into Vol 5 at, I ended up on wikipedia looking for context. Two children watch their parents get executed by the Redcoats (revolutionary war) then pretend to deliver a goat so they can tell their brother about it in person. Alas, he has been brutally murdered when a mysterious gate opens and various minutemen are possessed. Lucky one of the children is a blacksmith and can make keys and locks.

    Has a coherent story but the next story was a sudden jump to modern day which was v. confusing for me. The visual style is gritty and ugly and has an unsurprising amount of well illustrated perky breasts.

  • Saga, Volume One, written by Brian K. Vaughn, illustrated by Fiona Staples (Image Comics) Score 5/5
  • Science fantasy at its finest. Alana and Marko, lovers from warring races flee with their infant daughter Hazel.

    I was utterly sold in the first three pages. Has a compelling narrative, gorgeous illustrations and a deft sense of humour. Will chase down Volume 2.
    : Ordered Vol 1 and pre-ordered Vol 2.

  • Schlock Mercenary: Random Access Memorabilia, written and illustrated by Howard Tayler, colors by Travis Walton (Hypernode Media) Score 2/5
  • This is Book 13 and I think you have to have preexisting love for the characters. As I don't, this was incoherent and not very enjoyable for me to read. The illustration style has minimal art content and the strip is heavily character driven.

  • Saucer Country, Volume 1: Run, written by Paul Cornell, illustrated by Ryan Kelly, Jimmy Broxton and Goran Sudžuka (Vertigo) Score: 4/5
  • Grand-daughter of X-Files. Hispanic female governor runs for presidency so that she can investigate her alien abduction experience.

    Tragically cancelled after 14 issues (Volume 1 is 1-6 & V2 is 7-14) but has a plot, strong illustration work, good characterisation, passes Bechdel test with ease. Loses points for narrative waffling but I will read 7-14 and probably enjoy them.
    : Ordered Vol 1 and pre-ordered Vol 2.

samvara: Photo of Modesty Blaise with text "All this and brains as well" (Default)
2013-06-24 01:10 pm
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Basil the Great Mouse Detective

I was reminded at Swancon 2013 that I have yet to see this. Well have yet no more... or something.

Cute, funny and a welcome break from serious stuff. I am not going to critique because the point was to have a fun break.

No! None of the cast or crew of The Great Mouse Detective have collaborated with Roman Polanski or publicly expressed support for him.
samvara: Photo of Modesty Blaise with text "All this and brains as well" (Default)
2013-06-19 08:24 am
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Fast and the Furious 6

Very entertaining, effort required to suppress disbelief at plot, characterisation and physics but don't let that deter you.

We are here for the muscley running, the ludicrously over the top vehicular chase scenes, and \o/

samvara: Photo of Modesty Blaise with text "All this and brains as well" (Default)
2013-06-17 06:03 am
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Rated R For Rapist

A nifty site that answers the question:

<input ... > collaborated with or otherwise supported Roman Polanski.

Thank you, I needed that and will use it.

Oh ugh.


One or more people who worked on Iron Man 3 have either collaborated with Roman Polanski or publicly expressed support for him.

Ben Kingsley (The Mandarin)